When I all the sudden decided to open up my blog again, a week ago: transit Mars in Leo was in opposition with my Corrected/Natural BML in Aquarius, which is on the cusp of my 3rd house. Pulling myself up out of the shadows was a lot of work. I closed the site for a while a year ago because I was having technical problems and wanted to reconstruct. Soon after I closed the site, I found out it was hacked because I still had visitors. Word Press doesn’t count your own hits and I had to change the password to get rid of these uninvited guests. I had to re-read and check the complete blog again to see if no damage had been done. At the time I was very busy, tired, and opening a blog just before your Lilith return is a stressful thing to do.
Lilith Returns can pull up a lot of shadows and in-between the fights you’ll have with facing them, as well as keeping your daily life going, you just want to be left alone. But based on my second last Lilith Return I needed some confirmation about certain things I’ve noticed and came up with the wild idea to open this blog as an experiment. I do not regret it: but truly needed a break at the time. Eight weeks after my break I decided to pick up on the blog again, but had a few other things to do first. Did however start the computer already and dislocated my shoulder real bad: an hour later…
For a long time I just wanted to stop with blogging, because it actually is a demand on my shoulder I might not want to have these days. The injury corrected a physical condition I have been living with for 21 years, and also was the end of my dancing career. I actually want to join a Martial Arts school again and don’t think I can combine the two things together. On the other hand, a couple of years ago, I’ve had serious arguments with a couple of other Astrologers, as well as a Healer, because I wanted to retire from it all. I actually lost a friend over this: which looking back at it, wasn’t worth it, because I ended up being an astrological blogger anyway.
Corrected/Natural Lilith in Aquarius is a great position to have if it comes to astrology, as soon as you have faced and fought the shadows. Even though your Lilith position is the point of your most authentic self; somehow your ego isn’t attached to the qualities it represents in you. So for almost all of these months I didn’t know what to do with my “all the sudden new physical space”. The question: How will I waste my physical opportunities this time…? didn’t stop pondering inside of me, for a long time.
Until I decided last week, from one moment onto the other, I was going to give the blog another shot again. I didn’t have any appointments going against me this week. Just me, my daughter, and a photo shoot of an event we had planned into the weekend. I thought this week would be a week in which I could slowly without overdoing anything, the shoulder is still healing, pick up on editing and re-designing the site. I made a start put my self on-line again and did a lot of the work out in the open, so people could get used to the fact that I was back on-line again.
Last Monday, the Mars/Neptune opposition we all are facing and the passive aggression that comes with it, kicked in. My daughter came home from school with the news her Black Berry was stolen by a class mate; while my daughter had left it with the teacher who put it in to a box with other goodies, to prevent them from being stolen. My daughter was devastated by it, and so was I. These phones are expensive and she can’t live without one. My daughter has a form of autism, her Black Berry is the way she connects with her friends.
I dropped everything and went to the school the next day to look the kids into the eyes, and to talk to the teacher if the school has an insurance in these cases. Which they don’t have, BTW. After that I had to go to the police into the district where it happened to file a report. When I got there to file the report, an officer told me it wasn’t possible, but I could make an appointment. I wasn’t all to pleased: it wasn’t close to home, it was freezing outside, and my shoulder was hurting.
We pulled our agenda’s, but couldn’t find a time which matched up to both of our lives for a couple of days. I asked the officer why civilians had to make an appointment to file a report if they were victims of a crime these days. He said they didn’t have enough manpower, and this was the new rule. I thought about it for a while and asked him, politely, if this means if I get shot I had to make an appointment to file a report as well? When an armed to her teeth police woman, who was doing something else over there, completely exploded in my face and accused me of behaving badly…?! Which I wasn’t: I had just asked a question about the extent of the new rule. Which did however sounded like Monty Python to me as well. For most people this means they’ll have to take two days off, because it didn’t use to work like this before. I didn’t say all this but the police woman hated my guts anyway. When I finally came home: cold down to the bone, and with an unwinding Mars myself, I opened my mail and ended up with some knives in my back I’ll also have to react on.
To make a long story short: I am back on-line, but didn’t had the time to even make a preparation if it comes to the articles I want to write. With Mars going through his retrograde shadow, I am not all to sure if this is going to work out the way I ‘ve planned. So I might be a little slower than I ‘ve used to be. Mars in Virgo up until now made me run from one office to another, and I do hope that changes. But I at least did made it my way back on-line again.
Thanks for reading me and the support many of you have given me behind the scenes.
Don’t open the You Tube: it’s just me, blowing off some steam after a frustrating week. I have Mars in Gemini squaring Uranus and Pluto in Virgo, in a quincunx with Neptune in Scorpio, on top of my South Node, on the cusp of the 12th house, and in a trine to True/Osc. Lilith on top of my part of fortune in Aquarius; into the second house: no other outlets. Somehow this works for me, and I don’t want to end up on my couch with an empty bottle of Vodka on my Neptune position, being passive aggressive.
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